Wednesday, July 7, 2010

The Long and Winding Road. . .

I have always found myself saying, "There's just never enough time to get everything done." And since my girls have been gone, I have found myself drowning in the sands of unused time. I also describe myself as a verbal person. My emotions are usually verbally driven and released to the universe daily. So I figured why not combine my massive amounts of solitude with my ever growing need to express myself and finally do something with this blog I have had for a while.

So. . . Here I go.

I met my ex in October 1998 on a blind date. And I knew instantly that I was going to marry him. And I did. Seven months later. The marriage started down hill from the beginning. But I believe I was in denial for most of it. One girl, Two girls, Three girls later, my patience ran out. And I placed a proposition before him. And he chose the road that would leave me standing alone. The road I had been avoiding for years but regrettably knew was unavoidable.

Everything I had believed to be my life, wasn't. And then everything I believed in, slowly began to fade. And then nothing was familiar to me anymore. I started to sink into a numbing and comforting abyss. One I believed I would never escape from.

I am no longer engulfed in that pain. However the scars from those days are still fresh and very real. I don't believe I will ever fully recover from my "failed" marriage. Nor gain my sea legs for the endless ocean that is being a single Mother looking for love. (A love that seems very unattainable.)

This does seem to be a depressing beginning to my blog. However I do have a reason for mentioning all of this. I discovered a word shortly after my divorce that has stuck with me. It in fact is the name of my blog, Idiosyncrasy. It's formal definition, a person's peculiar characteristics fits me. But I fell in love with the medical definition of, an unexpected outcome. Because my life has truly placed me on a road that I never, ever expected to be on. The road signs are sometimes in Greek, the pot holes are big and covered in Oreo cookies, my dyslexia kicks in when reading the speed limit signs because the kids start fighting, and I always seem to just miss the last exit for a Coke. But I am where the Lord always knew I'd be. So I can't be too far off the mark. Can I?

For anyone who even cares to read this, I hope you find something in this mixed up life of mine that will bring a smile to your face. It's the only thing I have left that seems to have stood the test of time/travel, my sense of humor.


  1. It is hard when we find ourselves on a road we never expected. I have been there. I hope your road becomes smoother and less difficult as time moves forward :)


  2. No one ever stays on the road that they had intended for themselves. Life is a process, and with that process we must experience change. It's all part of the plan....We could have all been little robots and lived perfect lives, but what would that gain us ? No growth, no experiences to learn from, and definitely no individualism. You are where you are for a reason and only you and He know why. Don't ever think that you aren't as good as someone else....we are all different in our own unique way, and for the record....I like your uniqueness. Thanks for the blog.


  3. FDR~
    You have no idea how blessed I feel to have met you.