Monday, November 29, 2010

Adore Adore. . . .

To Facebook, or not to Facebook. That is the question today.

I've run into an issue that I find silly and yet important. When is it okay to let people onto your Facebook friends list? I've known people who are very selective, like myself, and others who let any and everyone on the list. In an age where digital information is king, is it really safe to let just anyone read what you are doing for the night? Or look at your pictures you post? I find that in the dating world, Facebook can mean all too much. That if you let someone on your list, or if you boot them from it, it sends a serious message. One I find to be trivial at times. (For those of you who've read my past posts on the matter can understand my thoughts.)

Now I know that Facebook is rather juvenile at times and is ultimately a frivolous part of the all too important, bigger picture called life, but I can't help but feel a sense of power in my Facebook profile. I remember shortly after my ex-husband flew the coop, I found it somewhat liberating to change my relationship status from Married to So&So, to Single. I had control over that, and I could let everyone I cared to know, know, without saying a word.

But do we really have all that much power in a Facebook page? Do others really care about the pie you ate for Thanksgiving? Or how cute your dog is? Or what kind of pirate you'd be? Could it be that it's more, WE want others to care about US? I'm sure the same thing could be said about blogging. Just replace all the words: Facebook, with the word: Blog. However you want to read it, I believe it's because we all want to feel important and to be heard and to "accepted".

There are those people in life I simply cannot "accept". There is a reason they are not on my FB friends list and I believe I'm safe to say, we all have those types of people deleted from our accounts. But I'd like, for a moment, to focus on those that we do want on our FB friends list. The ones we do want to have know what's going on in our lives. But more specifically, the ones we have yet to "accept" into our little empowered world.

In life there always needs to be a balance. Good and Evil, Laughter and Sadness, Sweet and Salty (my personal favorite). So with that same sense of empowerment, I feel, also comes a sense of vulnerability. Pictures you may think are funny, can come across in a different light to someone else. Information you found to be personal, can be used publicly against you. Parts of you, you find to be your best, can be your worst to another. Is it all that safe to risk that balance in life? To risk it on something as important, but also, not as important as Facebook?

I know I'm over thinking this. But when have I ever said I don't do that? I guess this whole blog still boils down to: To Facebook or not to Facebook. I think I will. It takes risks in life to get what you want. If you've read my past blogs on doing so, you'll understand that even though my risks are well thought out and somewhat choreographed, they are still risks. And I'll be taking one today. So, I ask you this, Have you Facebooked today?

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Only Prettier. . . .

I started a conversation with a political junkie today. I spoke to him about my political views and ways of voting in pursuit of his opinion as to what party I could be classified as. He said I most likely was a Libertarian. I've researched that party and feel I am not completely a Libertarian.

So I ask you this: Does anyone ever completely agree with their associated political party? In my family we have right wing and left wing conversations. Plus, government has never been my strong suit and I find Nov. to be one of the most stressful months of the year. With everyone hammering their opinion down your throat and so many people not taking the opportunity to vote, how does one actually get their political view to make a difference? Does it really boil down to just a touch of your finger every two years or so? Or is there so much more to it than that?

I am not one for confrontation. I find comfort in the respect of other's liberties. Though I do feel government plays a strong hand in our nations survival. Where does one find the balance in politics, does one ever? I'd love to hear back from all of you.

Friday, November 26, 2010

*DING* Fries are Done. . . .

So I had a friend ask me what I was going to do for Thanksgiving. I told him I was going to eat carbs and sleep. He laughed and said, "No, seriously?" I replied with a bit of a chuckle, but went on to tell him how I was planning on doing just that. And boy did I!

Let's start with breakfast:
6 mini pumpkin chocolate chip cookies
1 Diet Coke
1 Dr. Pepper -We ran out of Diet Coke, so it held me over till the others got cold.

1 Diet Coke

Before Dinner:
My home-made cheeseball with Ritz crackers. (Amount, unknown)
My veggies and home-made dip. (Again, amount, unknown)
1 Diet Coke
Oh, and one nibble of dark turkey meat.

2 pieces of dark turkey meat because the white is the dry meat and who wants to eat that??
1 large scoop of mashed potatoes
1 large scoop of stuffing from the bird, not the other less tasty stuff
All smothered in an unknown amount of gravy
1 of my mom's Parker House rolls
Some of my dad's sweet potatoes
1 large scoop of my sister's fruit salad
1 serving of my aunt's Jell-O thingy
And a nice scoop of buttery corn

A little bit of turkey, potatoes, stuffing, and gravy
1 more roll with butter this time
1 Diet Coke (Which got dumped before I finished it!)

1 Thin slice of pumpkin cheesecake
1 Thin slice of Caramel Pecan Supreme from Village Inn
1 Hazelnut cyenne pepper brownie
1 Diet Coke

The Aftermath:
I'm not going to lie, even after all that, I still ate a few olives as I was cleaning up.

Once the kids were in pj's and in front of a movie with my mom, I went off to play Rock Band with a friend. By that time I was closed for business, not even a drink. Until I got home at 11 pm and decided to watch the rest of the movie I started earlier with one last Diet Coke and one more piece of pumpkin cheesecake. By midnight, I was one satisfied camper.

I sure hope all of you got to spend the holiday the way you wanted to and reflected on the things you were thankful for.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Broken Hearts Like Mine. . . .

It snowed this morning. It snowed almost twelve inches of that heavy, wet, gorgeous, stick to everything snow. It took down tree limbs and power lines and I awoke to a cold, dark room. After a lovely powerless, dark, yet uplifting church meeting, I snuggled up in a few layers and put on one of my favorite Christmas CD's in honor of my old friend winter. This particular CD, Sara Mclachlin's Wintersong, struck up a conversation with my mother on how some songs are timeless and some are tender but not all songs are made for listening only at Christmas time. Two of those songs are my all time favorites, River by Joni Mitchell and In the Bleak Midwinter with original poem by English poet, Christina Rossetti . I listen to these and many other songs, all year long because they bring a sense of tenderness and reflection that should be visited at more times than just Christmas.

I said to my mother, "These are really good songs, because some people are just not happy at Christmas." Our conversation went into depth on this tangent and got me thinking. There have been many Christmases where I didn't even want to put up the tree because I hated the holiday. And even though I do not find that same distaste for the season this year, I do hate that it's coming for one reason. I am alone. Though I'm not truly alone, I do have God, and My Girls and of course the multitude of loved ones surrounding me. What I do not have, is what I truly desire, a companion to share this all with. And just like we all notice the one dirty spot on our otherwise pristine white shirt, I notice this all too much.

However sad my life may seem to me, especially when I go to many adult only functions alone, I do know that there are many who's aches this time of year are just as real to them. This time of year seems to bring, along with it's twinkle lights and price tags, a longing for better times. Times gone by, times yet to come, and times that seem a world away. I know that I will be happy for Christmas to come one day, and pray for those who feel the same way. But for now I will choke up when my youngest talks about us one day being a whole family. Or when I see young love and older love walking hand in hand. Or when I hold the babies of those I am most envious of.

Most of my blogs lately have been seemingly depressing, even to me. So with this one, I simply felt this was a notion in life, that needed to be said. I don't have a miracle answer to give in reference to the aid needed by those who hurt. I wish I did. I only hope that it gets you thinking. People are sad, people are hurting, people are in need of us standing up for what is right and bringing them the light of Christ. My heart aches, not only for myself, but for the knowledge that there are too many souls out in this world who feel the heaviness of life. Too many who are not recovering. I urge you to contemplate this plight not only at Christmas, but all year long too. Share the love that you feel for this season, with those around you who are weighed down with the dark, wet, heavy, stick to your spirit troubles. Don't let it take them down to a breaking point where there is no warmth and no light. I pray for this, with all of my heart, that we burden one another and share the healing love of Christ.

I hope that you enjoy your winter season and I look forward to the days when we all can sing.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Loser. . . .

I'm having bloggers-block! Has anyone ever experienced this? I have so many blogs I've started, but can't seem to finish them. Hmmmm. I am perplexed. Perhaps I am not to blog today. However, I miss the clarity most of my posts give me. Right now, my mind is a jumble of thoughts. Once my puzzle of creativity and expression forms, you all know I'll be blogging about it.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

You Can't Always Get What You Want. . . .

So I've come to a conclusion. It's one that for most of you, is most likely common knowledge. But for me, not so much.

For most of my life, I would say that I'm an enthusiastic type person. Once an idea or task comes to mind, I tackle it with a diligent and somewhat stubborn behavior, and do not stop until I have success. This attitude has brought me great victory and tragic defeat.

One of my more recent defeats is my dating life. There has been so many instances were I think things would work out for me, and they have not. Most with absolutely no explanation as to why not. At one time in my life I felt like nothing I did mattered. It did not matter how hard I worked, or how much I sacrificed, or even how much I prayed because nothing would work out without an equal force from my husband. I was angry at this notion. One divorce later, I find myself facing that same way of thinking in the dating world. That it doesn't matter how cute I am, or how much weight I've lost, or how much I put myself out there, nothing is going to happen until a man comes along and decides to choose me. This helpless feeling can sometimes destroy what would be a rather pleasing day. So in my recent defense against the plague of my dateless nights, I decided to not read into anything any man did or said to me. Ultimately lowering any and all expectations as to not get hurt. Almost numbing my senses to the matter. I figured it was working until something dawned on me, something brought to my attention by a dear friend. Nothing has worked out because nothing has meant to yet.

I now look back at all the men I've dated and feel like I've dodged an array of colorful bullets. All, at the time, seeming to be wonderful and an answer to my prayers, are now painted in a very unflattering light to some degree. How thankful I am for the fact that nothing has worked out yet. Sure, sure, my impatient nature is not easily amused by the long awaited arrival of my Alan Rickman look-a-like. (He is so dreamy to me. Gotta love Sense and Sensibility.) But, patience I can handle. Another poor relationship, I can't. So for all you ladies (and gentlemen) who are waiting for your better half to come along, all of you who sit and wonder why he never called you back, or never asked you out in the first place, all of you who are so ready for a relationship you could bottle and sell your anticipation on eBay for a butt load, join me in this realization and praise the powers that be. We are all in God's glorious hands. He's not going to let us down. He's a smart man, and knows what is best for us. Sure I could've said yes to any of the men who recently wanted to marry me, but I chose not to. There are worse things than being single. Trusting in God's plan, is not one of them. Forcing it to be something it's not meant to be, is.

So I ask you this, Have you had something not work out for you yet today?