Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Love Can Build a Bridge. . .

This post is directed towards, Pencil Skirt Bound.

So it's been about a month since my "Hurt" posting. And one of you asked about what I ended up doing. Well this is what happened.

I became a better friend to him.

This is how my mind worked: A while ago, in the same group of funny people, I found myself feeling like a girl in the group didn't like me. And not just didn't like me, but looking down upon me for my sense of humor. Well I stewed over it for weeks. Asking people if she gave them the same vibe, or their opinions on what options I had to relieve this new found stress. Nothing helped. And I continued to feel like I needed to censor my humor and guard what I said around her. Until one day, I was venting to my mother and she said, "What if she's intimidated by you?" It was like a light went on in my selfish brain. Here I had been thinking probably the worst of this person instead of taking the more Christlike road and looking for the better part. Needless to say at that point I felt awful. So then I began to take steps to make her a close friend of mine. It was awkward at first because there was no visible bridge in common between us, but I searched and searched. Until one day I found myself having something I hadn't really had since High School. And that was a Girlfriend. A real, go out to lunch, giggle and laugh, chat about boys, girlfriend. Now I have no idea what was the real source of tension between us at the beginning. But all I can say is, I am so glad that my Mom knocked a bit of Jesus into my heart.

Now I'm sure you smart readers can see where I'm going with this and how it pertains to my friends that "Hurt" me. Well one being an ex, I've told him straight out what happened and why I was so hurt. I trusted him to be that honest with him. But the other perpetrator and I had no such relationship. So I decided to make him a better friend. Now it did seem like each week that I worked with this individual, he did say things to me that stung pretty deep. But I kept it up, and tried to remember that he did not intend on insulting me. It's just his way of expressing himself, and my way of understanding it. And eventually things seemed to lighten up, and I began to toughen up. Until one late night, we had a deep conversation. One that I would only say could happen between two close friends. Now things aren't perfect. But who has a relationship that is?? I'm just really happy that I found a way to mend a bridge without tearing down any others. I'd rather be someone's support than someone's space they end up falling to their demise in. (A bit dramatic, I know. But hey, I am.)

So I'm so thankful for bridges I never knew could exist. And thankful for the strength I get from my true support and foundation. Sometimes when something strikes you pretty deep, it's because a new foundation is being placed there.

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