Wednesday, November 3, 2010

You Can't Always Get What You Want. . . .

So I've come to a conclusion. It's one that for most of you, is most likely common knowledge. But for me, not so much.

For most of my life, I would say that I'm an enthusiastic type person. Once an idea or task comes to mind, I tackle it with a diligent and somewhat stubborn behavior, and do not stop until I have success. This attitude has brought me great victory and tragic defeat.

One of my more recent defeats is my dating life. There has been so many instances were I think things would work out for me, and they have not. Most with absolutely no explanation as to why not. At one time in my life I felt like nothing I did mattered. It did not matter how hard I worked, or how much I sacrificed, or even how much I prayed because nothing would work out without an equal force from my husband. I was angry at this notion. One divorce later, I find myself facing that same way of thinking in the dating world. That it doesn't matter how cute I am, or how much weight I've lost, or how much I put myself out there, nothing is going to happen until a man comes along and decides to choose me. This helpless feeling can sometimes destroy what would be a rather pleasing day. So in my recent defense against the plague of my dateless nights, I decided to not read into anything any man did or said to me. Ultimately lowering any and all expectations as to not get hurt. Almost numbing my senses to the matter. I figured it was working until something dawned on me, something brought to my attention by a dear friend. Nothing has worked out because nothing has meant to yet.

I now look back at all the men I've dated and feel like I've dodged an array of colorful bullets. All, at the time, seeming to be wonderful and an answer to my prayers, are now painted in a very unflattering light to some degree. How thankful I am for the fact that nothing has worked out yet. Sure, sure, my impatient nature is not easily amused by the long awaited arrival of my Alan Rickman look-a-like. (He is so dreamy to me. Gotta love Sense and Sensibility.) But, patience I can handle. Another poor relationship, I can't. So for all you ladies (and gentlemen) who are waiting for your better half to come along, all of you who sit and wonder why he never called you back, or never asked you out in the first place, all of you who are so ready for a relationship you could bottle and sell your anticipation on eBay for a butt load, join me in this realization and praise the powers that be. We are all in God's glorious hands. He's not going to let us down. He's a smart man, and knows what is best for us. Sure I could've said yes to any of the men who recently wanted to marry me, but I chose not to. There are worse things than being single. Trusting in God's plan, is not one of them. Forcing it to be something it's not meant to be, is.

So I ask you this, Have you had something not work out for you yet today?

1 comment:

  1. cant say anything has not worked out yet lol but i am going to the doctor so we shall see how that goes ;p