Saturday, October 9, 2010

Buses and Trains. . . .


6.2 miles

Last to start, last to finish.

I held my own the entire run, constantly forcing one foot in front of the other. I mistakenly sat and waited with the wrong group of women. When I realized it, my 10k group had left five minutes earlier. (That meant some were already a mile ahead of me.) Ugh! I know I'm slow, but now it's going to be ridiculously obvious my big old legs can only trot at a brisk walking pace. But I didn't care. It was chip timed, meaning I was only in a race with myself. My time didn't start until my foot crossed the starting line, and it wouldn't end until it was drug across the finish line. However, I did pass four ladies along the way, so I wasn't technically last. It just sounds better when I write it that way instead of, Last to start, 689th to finish.

I actually enjoyed running by myself. It was rather peaceful as I pounded my way through the gardens at Thanksgiving Point. I was able to reflect as I continually was directed around seemingly endless bends and pass numerous man-made waterfalls. Eventually I made it to the home stretch. I could see it. I eagerly passed the 5k walkers along the way as I burped up the not too pleasant taste of my energy gummies. My body was tired. I had pushed it beyond any bounds it had crossed before. That last and final 50 yards up hill just about drained all of the energy I had left until I turned the corner and saw the finish line. It was feet in front of me. I began to run faster, and it seemed that the faster I ran, the quicker I began to cry. You could hear families cheering on their runners as they crossed. It was so great to FINALLY cross the finish line. Yet so sad because I didn't have anyone to share this victory with.

As much as I come off being strong and independent, I still long for someone to cheer me on. And I know that it sure seems like every blog I do ends up on the subject of dating. For that I apologize, but it's my reality right now. I am so happy with my life. I NEVER in any of my wildest dreams thought I'd be doing this. I've always been a slow runner, even since childhood when I could do it better. I always lost the race, was always tagged out, and always stuck in the mud. But not anymore. Something that I always tell myself is, Give me enough time, and I'll get it done. It's true for any character I play on stage, for the miles I place behind my on a run, and for the track record I seem to have in dating. Eventually I'll get it done. I may have moments where I sprint forward in excitement or ones where I'm too exhausted to keep going. I may have to stop and take a breather, adjust something that's not fitting quite right, or refuel for the hill ahead. Whatever obstacles are on my path, given enough time, I'll get them done. I'll put them behind me. I'll finish the race.

I look forward to the days when I'm strong enough to not finish last. Just as I look forward to the days when there will be someone cheering my on as I finish the race. Until that day, I ask for enough time. Enough time to train, to practice, and enough time to be patient before those moments come along.

31 years 6 months 5 days

Many roads, many trials, many more

Started when the Lord wanted me to start, Pretty sure he'll let me finish.

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