Friday, October 15, 2010

The Way We Were. . . .

The last guy I dated was a fantastic guy. A bit nerdy, but all the same a quality guy. At the time, I wasn't ready to become serious with him because something just didn't feel right. So I let him go. The next week he tells me he's exclusive with another girl he was dating while he was dating me. (I had no idea of her existence. And if I did, I definitely would not have kissed him the way I did.) None the less, I moved on and have not dated anyone since. That was eight months ago.

Tonight I was browsing my facebook and clicked on a comment he had made months before. It took me to his page and I read that he was now married to this woman he was dating. I'm happy for him. Honestly. So I sit and wonder as I fight back the tears, Why does this hurt so much? This is now the second ex with similar news that stings me deeply. I guess I figured that I was not going to have as hard of a time dating as I am experiencing now. I went on two dates this summer and neither one called me again. I seem to give off some repellent vibe. When I honestly would love to go out and have a wonderful time.

Anyhow, I'm asking for some advice. Why does it hurt so much to see past loves move on?

I really don't have an answer and am so looking for help because if one more guy I've dated comes up to me and tells me he's getting married, I'm afraid I'll lose it.

1 comment:

  1. Oh Heidi, I TOTALLY understand how you feel. I remember how crushed I was when I found out my ex-fiance was not only married, but also having a baby, I.Was.Crushed.

    I think it's a feeling of "why couldn't he have worked it out with me?" that always kicks me right in the butt. I HATE that. But I love you!